I don’t believe inspiration is anything to play with, because there are so many discouraging factors around us, I find that I’m always needing a reason to go on. Sometimes I find this reason in pictures, sometimes in words, sometimes in words that remind me of a reel of pictures (movie clips or personal memories) and that in summary is what this ‘poem’ is about. We cannot afford to become too jaded that these things no longer reach us. Words, pictures, life experiences should be able to pick us up, dust us of and set us moving once again on the path to our destiny.
There’s a whole lot of need hanging around us as young people and this poem is a personal attempt to deride the option of treating relationships as idols; giving parts of our life’s to ‘options’ or better yet candidates in order to escape the discomfiture of being alone.
Symptoms of this will include; hiding your relationship from other people who care about you, making self-erasing sacrifices and ignoring things that are obviously wrong in your relationship.
Relationships are great things when you’re in them with the right person at the right time, but they are not everything and should not be idolized!
Woman with the dark glasses
You must have taken some pain classes
Because the blows your body takes daily
Clash loudly with the reality of your frailty
Tell me where did you learn to deny so convincingly
Or is it that you believe you’re alright really
You think you can handle it
That tomorrow is the day to quit
Answer me cause already your plight breaks my heart in two
And I feel helpless when you tell me ’twas a fall that had your face encountering the walls of the loo
I guess, I guess, I guess nothing
Just praying that some day your dark glasses and pasted on smile will signify more wholesome things
Like the sun beating down on you
And how you came out of that place broken but not through
Dad wouldn’t yell check-mate
He’d just lift his head and look at me
Because the pieces on the board spoke volumes
Words I didn’t need an interpreter to decipher
About how the fact that I was surrounded and defenseless
Was about to make a mockery of my senses
It was set to question the state of my mind
Even as outwardly I whispered a halted never mind
Never mind that this was the latest in a long line of defeats
Never mind that once again my tactics had proved abortive
Cus at the end of the day, I was going to ask for a repeat
Another chance to pit my wits against his
And my plan as always was to give it my all
Involve my heart and my head and hope for victory
Cus my dad is the wise man who taught me that the only way I can fail, is to accept defeat,
You know, just throw my hands up and quit!
I started thinking on clean slates just this morning, I mean it’s such a convenient concept isn’t it? Somehow all your mistakes and flops are wiped up and you’ve got this really clean white surface just waiting, funny enough, to be murked up again. No, that is not a jaded, overtly pessimistic way of looking at it, it’s just plain ‘ole truth. You can’t possibly offer up a clear blank slate as proof that you’ve lived/ or to draw a more simplified picture, you can’t offer up a blank answer script as proof that you wrote an exam! You’d have to at the very least attempt to write your name on said answer script!
Anyways, I’ve gotten away from my purpose of writing this, whatever this is, which just happens to be the question; does a clean slate provide an opportunity of righting past wrongs or does it offer up a chance for a new beginning without any insignias from the past. That is, if some person offered me a second chance, does it mean that I have to get my act together then or that the whole book has been thrown out and I need to start getting my act together now.
For those who are right now still following my thought process, first off, ve got some deep respect for you guys cus even I am not sure where I’m going with this.
If the former is true, then I guess it’s accepted that somehow my past mistakes and otherwise with a little help and pressure from an outside influence is enough to push me to the top. If however the latter is true, then I might as well halt my power trip ; I can work this out on my own terms, I just need a little help; consider the beauty of le clean slate, throw in a healthy appreciation for said saving grace, and work with the person to put up the right kind of murk on that slate.
Well having got my question out there, I think I can retire this particular post, but not without this dear dear bible verse
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.
A second chance by the very reason of you being for the most part undeserving of it is a precious thing! The very thought of it has the ability to give one wings to fly above all plaguing doubts and fears. It transcends beyond any former abilities or disabilities, any disappointments or let downs, its just to cut the long story short, all brand new and shiny
I imagine all the mistakes I’ve made in the past and remember all those real corny dramas where the heroine admits to her faults but states; mostly with her chin up; that if she had a do-over she wouldn’t change a thing? Of course that always sets me ‘awondering’ especially if the plot of the film is easy to follow, what would doing things differently really take from those moments, and I realize it would take everything! Nothing and I mean absolutely nothing would remain the same! The battles for sure would change, and at the end isn’t that what life is all about, battles. Sure sometimes I deride the battle aspect of life but no matter how you look at it the bible says clearly
Blessed be God, my mountain, who trains me to fight fair and well. He’s the bedrock on which I stand, the castle in which I live, my rescuing knight, The high crag where I run for dear life, while he lays my enemies low. (Psalm 144:1, 2 MSG)
And the battles of life are necessary; thank You Lord for the training and getting into the fray for me; if for nothing,
The battle tests who is on my side
The battle tests where my trust lies
The battle tests my preparation
The battle tests my balance and so forth
So back to second chances, I begin to see that all a second chance really affords us is hope. One thing persists in all those movies I previously referred to earlier, the heroine is always on a precipice, she’s either looking to leave a part of herself behind/ to give up on something really important and then the second chance comes right out of the blue! The joy is unnervingly evident, because a hope is enough to win the battle, simply because, the right hope
Enables us to look up
Puts things in perspective
Overrides doubts and fears
Brings with it joy (that’s our strength right there) and so forth
This I guess is me trying to pass across that its never really a matter of the mistakes we make but what we do with the second chances that come our way! Cus often times, we’re not even bold enough to ask for them, we are on per with thinking that we have lost the battle, but let me just enunciate
It is foolhardy to throw a battle where the balance has been set in your favor by your Master
Read your bible, our victory is front page news!
Congenial conversation—what a pleasure! The right word at the right time—beautiful! (Proverbs 15:23 MSG)
Truthfully, what to do for my first post had me stumped! Maybe its because I recognize the inherent responsibility that comes with using words for any and everything under the sun. The first time, if i remember correctly, I was ever beaten as a child sprung from my dads annoyance that I had used ‘no’ in the place of ‘know’ and I observed enough quiet times on varying occasions relating to mine inability to informatively tackle certain topics. There is also the fact that having passed through a secondary school where your ability to hit back with quick retorts would almost always determine whether you would leave a convo with your ‘rep’ intact! Your ability to ‘use words’ could get you out of almost every fix with bigger mates, seniors and teachers alike or even the schools vice principal if you were me.
The pressure I experienced with writing my first post however went far deeper than that because I made it through my childhood and ‘learnt words’ and in my secondary school experience I could ‘use words’ for days, but it wasn’t until I got into uni that the importance of words really settled in. For most of my first year, I squatted with quite the number of characters, and following the unwritten squatters code, I tended towards not having an opinion in most matters, it was heaven to me at the time, I didn’t have to wade into uncomfortable situations to dish out any words of wisdom and whenever any trouble came, none of my business, not my room.
Then I got closer to the occupants of the room and more and more I began wading into the opinion pool, I started getting into those silly squabbles that I used to laugh at people for having and I started using words again. When you commit to something, you cannot remain on the outside looking in and apart from the truth that you make commitments with words, commitments are also sustained by words!
So if words are our tools for making commitments both now and in future, I figure that my words should carry as much weight as God would want to come through at any particular point in time. Hence my opening quote a conversation suitable to ones need- what a pleasure! The right word at the right time- beautiful! My first written post is therefore for me, it’s a post to help my perspective and discernment, to enable me recall the need to use words responsibly so that their value doesn’t go down!
Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out. (Colossians 4:6 MSG)
And with that I hang my hat on my first post!